In Memoirs

Today in 1993, feels just like yesterday since you've been gone. Year 1993 seems so far behind but I do still miss you so much especially on this day. I wish you would be here to see on how far we've become and guess what? We have an addition to our family. You'd been an uncle to our fourth niece just two months ago. I would imagine our nieces would have so much fun running in the meadow with you.

I often found myself secretly look up to you and shared my stories with you at times when I could no longer have the strength and motivation to hold on to. I'm sorry if I did made you feel bored listening to my life setbacks.

Time flashing too fast and I'm chasing time everyday. I wish I could slow down but the society doesn't permit me. I've been on the right track 'cause I know that I am no longer having the urge to look backward. I am certain of what I want and what I will be getting in life. My past does not dictate who I am today. I let it go and sail with the flow of waves. 

Everyday, I would try to laugh or smile on at least one thing that I've did. There's a saying, "Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions". Over the past decades, I finally understood on how happiness could be achieved just by the very little own choice that one could make. And of course, I choose to be happy on everyday. 

Happiness is enjoying all the small things while chasing after the big ones in which I did so. I would slow down my walking speed and observe the things around me and appreciate it beautifully with a smile.  

I learnt to put myself ahead of everyone else. I have to love myself first. Self-loving isn't a selfish thing. I am no longer the Ellie from the past. My second life starts now. Nothing is worth more than today.