Holiday in July 2013

Could you tell where I've been? 

Losing Everything Can Give You Even More

I've lived,

I've loved,

I've trusted,

I've been lost,

I've been hurt, and

I've made mistakes.

But, I've learned. 

In my late 20s, I may have lost it all but I never lose my strength to stand up again. When infidelity hits me, it hit me hard. I left my ex-husband after I got "fired" by him. It was a wrong fit from the beginning but I ignored the warning signs. My pride and ego wanted me to show everyone how blissfully married I was. The day I was told that I no longer needed, my instant reaction was relief. I wasn't going have to wake up the next day to carry the duty as a wife when there isn't any presence of appreciation. 

Then, I panicked. 

How am I going to survive this? Who would find out? Was I a failure? How am I going to tell my family? How would people look at me? 

In my darkness period, I strived to focus on the light. I spent months thinking where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be. I was surprised that I really liked myself when I am on my own. 

Since then, my life has gone into a journey of self discovery. I started writing and pay more attention to myself. In turn, I get to know myself better by projecting my feelings from time to time. Writing started a chain reaction of self reflection. When you write about yourself, you tend to focus on issues you may otherwise ignore. I becoming more honest to myself and to others. 

I never really like being unhappy for too long. Nothing can stop me from being happy. Happiness is what matter most. Do what you have to do in order to feel happy.

It is okay to ask for help. 

My family has been there for me and they are the only one who accepts me wholeheartedly, at least forever. 

I have superb friends who constantly checking on me just to make sure that I am doing okay. 

There are strangers who always greet me with their smiles each morning when I walk across that road. 

Some really old friends found me and we are in close contact. 

How not to love these people?

I am, what I think I am. I dare to realize my dreams. I think positively of myself and I accomplished more than what I'd imagined that was impossible.